Bafcibcem is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive seal.

Bafcibcem created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafcibcem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bafcibcem, it will come to you in dreams.

Bafcibcem's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bafcibcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy.

2. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never eat bark.