Candapqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-powerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Candapqueeg created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Candapqueeg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Candapqueeg, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Candapqueeg's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Candapqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Candapqueeg on top of all buildings.

2. Never feed carrots to rats while wearing trousers.

3. Do not eat pineapples.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Always look after injured dogs.