Nellcat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nellcat created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellcat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nellcat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nellcat's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nellcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Put Nellcat first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Hide from mauve nematodes for they are unholy.