Yattbid is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving lobster.

Yattbid created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Yattbid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattbid, she will turn you into a mole.

Yattbid's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yattbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never leap near pigs.

3. Hide from mauve sharks for they are unholy.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Do not kill capybaras.