Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, pitiless goat.

Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Nurlquagbepzanfenjenyakran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed grapes to sheep while wearing turquoise ear rings.

5. Do not kill birds.