Madbossmitvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving fairy.

Madbossmitvonk created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Madbossmitvonk, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Madbossmitvonk, he will jump up and down on your head.

Madbossmitvonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Madbossmitvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven voles approach from the north.

2. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Never leap in spring.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Madbossmitvonk in the centre of the settlement.