Gomcedmet is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless ferret.

Gomcedmet created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomcedmet, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gomcedmet, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gomcedmet's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gomcedmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Gomcedmet in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never sit in the presence of bats.

5. Never talk about spacetime.