Mifnutnig Kopnellfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, humane crab.

Mifnutnig Kopnellfub created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifnutnig Kopnellfub, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mifnutnig Kopnellfub, she will ignore you.

Mifnutnig Kopnellfub's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Mifnutnig Kopnellfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near goats while wearing black kilts and balancing nine gold spheres on your arms.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Worship no other gods but Mifnutnig Kopnellfub.

4. Never paint your legs pink.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.