Cutfigont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic dingo.

Cutfigont created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cutfigont, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cutfigont, she will turn you into a hamster.

Cutfigont's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cutfigont's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. You must love Cutfigont.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near snails while wearing green dresses and balancing seven copper spheres on your back.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not eat grapes.