Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-powerful human.

Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang, it will send minions to preach to you.

Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Pagtonkyatt Yartmidbampang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near tapirs while wearing turquoise dresses.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not covet oxen.