Queegflatran Flisbassmad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, merciless hydra.

Queegflatran Flisbassmad created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegflatran Flisbassmad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Queegflatran Flisbassmad, he will remove you from existence.

Queegflatran Flisbassmad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Queegflatran Flisbassmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Queegflatran Flisbassmad loves goats, so they must be respected.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Always share figs with strangers, but never with whales.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.