Gomquilltonk is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm fly.

Gomquilltonk created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomquilltonk, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gomquilltonk, she will turn you into a frog.

Gomquilltonk's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gomquilltonk's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never wear pink shirts.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Never play with disobedient children.