Sidsomvabnar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, happy seal.

Sidsomvabnar created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidsomvabnar, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sidsomvabnar, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sidsomvabnar's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sidsomvabnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing fawn boots and balancing five gold spheres on your hands.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Retreat if nine mites approach from the east.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.