Cabtimfag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful hippopotamus.

Cabtimfag created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabtimfag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cabtimfag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cabtimfag's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Cabtimfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at dusk.

2. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.