Wadtarbom is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, idiotic spider.

Wadtarbom created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadtarbom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wadtarbom, it will turn you into a rock.

Wadtarbom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Wadtarbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Wadtarbom.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.