Arnvigtab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, contented cow.

Arnvigtab created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arnvigtab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arnvigtab, he will turn you into a worm.

Arnvigtab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Arnvigtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight tapirs in a large pit.

2. Arnvigtab loves pigs, so they must be respected.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.