Konlikdaghugpidbopfit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered turtle.

Konlikdaghugpidbopfit created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konlikdaghugpidbopfit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Konlikdaghugpidbopfit, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Konlikdaghugpidbopfit's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Konlikdaghugpidbopfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near geese while wearing pink rings.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing seven silver spheres on your legs.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Always obey Konlikdaghugpidbopfit's priests.