Lattaparn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, effective aardvark.

Lattaparn created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lattaparn, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lattaparn, she will send you a sign.

Lattaparn's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lattaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing orange stockings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always obey Lattaparn's priests.

5. Fast once a month.