Yartbudnill is a god.

She takes the form of a large, humorless lizard.

Yartbudnill created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartbudnill, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yartbudnill, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yartbudnill's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yartbudnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while blessed.

2. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

3. Do not jump at forests.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing green stockings and balancing three gold spheres on your feet.

5. Do not commit murder.