Gepvonnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, almighty dingo.

Gepvonnig created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepvonnig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gepvonnig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gepvonnig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gepvonnig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must love Gepvonnig.

4. Hide from indigo sharks for they are unholy.

5. Never write about comets.