Loopmotyar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, benevolent walrus.

Loopmotyar created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loopmotyar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Loopmotyar, he will turn you into a mouse.

Loopmotyar's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Loopmotyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed tomatoes to doves while wearing boots.