Dissarnzigcemstignab is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, stupid rhinoceros.

Dissarnzigcemstignab created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissarnzigcemstignab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dissarnzigcemstignab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dissarnzigcemstignab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dissarnzigcemstignab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Dissarnzigcemstignab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Hide if three capybaras approach from the east.

5. Never play with disobedient children.