Dinwapjop is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous armadillo.

Dinwapjop created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinwapjop, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dinwapjop, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dinwapjop's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Dinwapjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.