Rullarnteen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, smart hedgehog.

Rullarnteen created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rullarnteen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rullarnteen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rullarnteen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rullarnteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Rullarnteen's priests.

2. Do not take Rullarnteen's name in vain.

3. Rullarnteen loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Rullarnteen on top of all buildings.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.