Kemcaphit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate dragon.

Kemcaphit created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kemcaphit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemcaphit, she will cry a lot.

Kemcaphit's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kemcaphit's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

2. Never eat corn on fasting days.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing brown skirts.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never wear black jumpers.