Flamrilldin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witless squid.

Flamrilldin created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamrilldin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flamrilldin, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flamrilldin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flamrilldin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Flamrilldin on top of all buildings.

3. Run away if seven great tits approach from the east.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.