Pittarppag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent shrew.

Pittarppag created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pittarppag, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pittarppag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pittarppag's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pittarppag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never approach forests carrying stone.

3. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with horses.

4. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill monkeys.