Xemnellartsid Logstafbep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable fairy.

Xemnellartsid Logstafbep created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemnellartsid Logstafbep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xemnellartsid Logstafbep, she will torture you forever.

Xemnellartsid Logstafbep's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Xemnellartsid Logstafbep's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemnellartsid Logstafbep.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from blue gulls for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about nebulae.