Dapminduss is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, flying deer.

Dapminduss created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapminduss, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dapminduss, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dapminduss' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dapminduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Never leap in winter.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Birds are not to be trusted.