Vonnelldadren is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awe-inspiring gerbil.

Vonnelldadren created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Vonnelldadren, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonnelldadren, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vonnelldadren's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vonnelldadren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

4. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with tortoises.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.