Park is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Park created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Park, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Park, he will turn you into a puffin.

Park's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Park's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Park loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Feed all hungry ducks.