Bastbagxuckop is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, witless gnu.

Bastbagxuckop created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastbagxuckop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bastbagxuckop, it will turn you into a rock.

Bastbagxuckop's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bastbagxuckop's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Never travel toward the east during winter.