Karbemyart Bastpigontven is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, loving troll.

Karbemyart Bastpigontven created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Karbemyart Bastpigontven, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Karbemyart Bastpigontven, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Karbemyart Bastpigontven's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Karbemyart Bastpigontven's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not keep four eagles in a large pit.