Dutfon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, calm dolphin.

Dutfon created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutfon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dutfon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dutfon's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dutfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

3. Never feed corn to birds while wearing trousers.

4. Dutfon loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Never approach forests carrying bone.