Larpomtster is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing coyote.

Larpomtster created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpomtster, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larpomtster, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Larpomtster's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Larpomtster's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Put Larpomtster first in all things.