Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing finch.

Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wathontoncuss Laptimlimxem.