Teenvanraw is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, cheerful gerbil.

Teenvanraw created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Teenvanraw, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Teenvanraw, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Teenvanraw's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Teenvanraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Never paint your chest mauve.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.