Homtonlidvogsisbest is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, effective meerkat.

Homtonlidvogsisbest created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homtonlidvogsisbest, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Homtonlidvogsisbest, she will destroy your home solar system.

Homtonlidvogsisbest's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Homtonlidvogsisbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near whales while wearing mauve rings and balancing eight lead spheres on your chest.

3. You must love Homtonlidvogsisbest.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Homtonlidvogsisbest.

5. Never pour water over plants.