Nurcepstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair wyrm.

Nurcepstaf created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcepstaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nurcepstaf, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nurcepstaf's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Nurcepstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven gulls approach from the east.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing magenta corsets and balancing nine silver spheres on your legs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide if eight snails approach from the south.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.