Sawhudfot Witpakaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, witty beaver.

Sawhudfot Witpakaf created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawhudfot Witpakaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sawhudfot Witpakaf, he will turn you into a plant.

Sawhudfot Witpakaf's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Sawhudfot Witpakaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing south.

2. Worship no other gods but Sawhudfot Witpakaf.

3. Always treat swans with great respect.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Sawhudfot Witpakaf on top of all buildings.

5. Never adorn your chest with blue markings.