Bemlimgat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, contented wren.

Bemlimgat created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemlimgat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemlimgat, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bemlimgat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bemlimgat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near moths while wearing gray rings and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

5. Never eat bark.