Sigsom Jamwapmat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, moody hydra.

Sigsom Jamwapmat created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sigsom Jamwapmat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sigsom Jamwapmat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Sigsom Jamwapmat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Sigsom Jamwapmat's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.