Kopxucdun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful beaver.

Kopxucdun created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopxucdun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kopxucdun, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kopxucdun's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kopxucdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Learn four new languages a year.