Yarpjarndid is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, proud guinea pig.

Yarpjarndid created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpjarndid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yarpjarndid, he will come to you in dreams.

Yarpjarndid's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yarpjarndid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always obey Yarpjarndid's priests.

4. Always look after injured eagles.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.