Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, benevolent penguin.

Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog, it will turn you into a goat.

Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bonlipzan Dudfatvid Barnpingofhitstragrappog's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not hurt sheep.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.