Wotmiftif is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, impressive badger.

Wotmiftif created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Wotmiftif, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotmiftif, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wotmiftif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Wotmiftif's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.