Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, emotional warg.

Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zimbamfly Xuckhomfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Do not skip in public.