Nanquartbep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, blissful sheep.

Nanquartbep created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanquartbep, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nanquartbep, she will destroy your home solar system.

Nanquartbep's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nanquartbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.