Gidpitflam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind eagle.

Gidpitflam created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidpitflam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gidpitflam, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gidpitflam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gidpitflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near geese while wearing black shorts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never look at asteroids.