Rigdonwik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, kind dryad.

Rigdonwik created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Rigdonwik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rigdonwik, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rigdonwik's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rigdonwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always look after injured sharks.

5. Never talk about planets.