Babwansin Jigarpkim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable chicken.

Babwansin Jigarpkim created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babwansin Jigarpkim, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Babwansin Jigarpkim, it will not care.

Babwansin Jigarpkim's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Babwansin Jigarpkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.