Rilyakteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic rat.

Rilyakteen created an electron seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilyakteen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rilyakteen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rilyakteen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Rilyakteen's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not kill snakes.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Rilyakteen must be the most important thing in your life.