Kopmipfet is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet chicken.

Kopmipfet created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopmipfet, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kopmipfet, it will turn you into a goat.

Kopmipfet's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Kopmipfet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Always help capybaras.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.