Farnloparmjinnibbus is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, happy naga.

Farnloparmjinnibbus created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Farnloparmjinnibbus, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farnloparmjinnibbus, she will remove you from existence.

Farnloparmjinnibbus' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Farnloparmjinnibbus' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Run away from purple pigs, for they are unholy.

5. Never wear violet hats.