Dubyakmif is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humorless shark.

Dubyakmif created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubyakmif, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dubyakmif, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Dubyakmif's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dubyakmif's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Erect five nickel sculptures of Dubyakmif on top of important buildings.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.